Snake oil thread

Discussion in 'General Audio Discussion' started by Judeus, Oct 12, 2015.

  1. Kattefjaes

    Kattefjaes Mostly Harmless

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  2. Darren G

    Darren G Friend

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    LMAO Katte, there is always a topper story.

    Goop.com is not selling a coffee machine, it is selling a coffee enema-making machine.

    Okay so snake oil sales people really do have no limits.
     
  3. Azimuth

    Azimuth FKA rtaylor76, Friend

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    This thread is off the rails.
     
  4. Skyline

    Skyline Double-blindly done with this hobby

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  5. mscott58

    mscott58 Friend

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    I could sell you a much better thread! Here, let me tell you why this new thread will be awesome and make you happy, fit and successful in your love life...
     
  6. Azimuth

    Azimuth FKA rtaylor76, Friend

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    You're right. I am not getting the full potential of this thread. It could use some upgrades in areas no one ever thinks about that sound kooky at first but I am sure you will explain it to me using complicated words that kind of make sense and quote others who have seen great improvement. And I bet this fix won't be cheap either.
     
  7. mscott58

    mscott58 Friend

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    Yes, the new thread works by synergistically expanding the room's natural resonance via the proper oscillation of the structural energies bounded within the crystal's lattice through the proper alignment of the phased frequency bands and removal of triple-phase energy jitter and multi-planar vibration. All at a cost of only $400 per word of jargon improperly used in the prior sentence...
     
  8. Azimuth

    Azimuth FKA rtaylor76, Friend

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    [​IMG]
     
  9. 9suns

    9suns [insert unearned title here]

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    As a reputable Head-fi and Positive Feedback reviewer, I can attest the above statement is true. It turned my already wonderful sounding Beyerdynamic T1 from "energetic citric bouque" to "all chocolate, no espresso" by clever use of technology. YMMV, IMHO, Ad-hoc, Ad-nauseam, favourite meal used to be noodles.
     
  10. Ringingears

    Ringingears Honorary BFF

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    Using our new patent pending Muti-Dimentional technology we can place a tesseract with the newly discovered 4th spatial dimension in the most optimized position in your room in such a way that every instrument is placed perfectly in front, back, below, above and in a 4th extra space-time string that you will BECOME the music. Imagine floating through your library of music like Matthew McConahay in Innerstellar. Infinite possibilities await you. Experience reality in a totally new way. Our Quartz Crystal mental telepathy controlled unit can be yours for a limited Valentines Day Special price of $599,000, so why wait? Order now, and we’ll throw in a pair of HD700 headphones. After the Special offer the price will increase to $799,000.
    Don’t forget to download the Audeze fix my headphones sound plug-in. You will need it.
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2018
  11. Thad E Ginathom

    Thad E Ginathom Friend

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    Beautiful engineering is... beautiful engineering. This is part of overall pride of ownership. The thing is to keep it real.
    Snake-oil-induced-irrationality syndrome
    I can do the for you... over the phone! At a price!

    @atomicbob, you are one of my Real-World heroes! :bow:
     
  12. Br444m

    Br444m New

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    This thread needs some shun mook devices to bring it a little closer to reality. While this thread isn’t perfect, it can be fixed with mpingo discs in arrays of 3, each one oriented in a different orientation. This way a boundary is created and voices will sound much more ‘contained’ here.

    To ground this thread even more effectively, mpengo wood platforms can be attached to it. By resting all of the words and sentences on 4 stainless steel spikes which are attached to industrial diamonds, the dirty frequencies will sympathetically vibrate with the mpengo wood, which will take the ‘schmutz’ out of this thread.
     
  13. Thad E Ginathom

    Thad E Ginathom Friend

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    Oh, puleeeese... we should go for three-point suspension. And why settle for Industrial diamonds?

    And don't say it doesn't make a difference unless you tried it!

    :pirate07:
     
  14. Peti

    Peti Facebook Friend

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  15. FourOpposums

    FourOpposums New

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    You forgot to mention how that would provide inverse reactive current for use in unilateral phase detractors, and how that would linearize the panametric pham-
     
  16. Elnrik

    Elnrik Super Friendly

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    I appreciated that video far more than I should have.
     
  17. Peti

    Peti Facebook Friend

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    NCF Booster for the masses!

     
  18. Riotvan

    Riotvan Snoofer in the Woofer

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    Smart, now they can sell you even fatter cables without fear. So you broke an IEC receptacle? Did you buy the NCF booster? Tough shit.
     
  19. mitochondrium

    mitochondrium Friend

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    Somehow this reminds me of a jockstrap for too large male genitials lacking adequate connective tissue
     
  20. rshuck

    rshuck Friend

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    You can upgrade this further buy purchasing the rubber band upgrade kit and vibration absorbing pads that also prevent damage to your connectors. /s
     

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