SBAF Spring Cleaning

Discussion in 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' started by MrTeaRex, Jun 15, 2020.

  1. Hands

    Hands Overzealous Auto Flusher - Measurbator

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    There's a difference between being an asshole and a shithead. Life is boring if you can't be a friendly asshole to one another. I didn't think I had to spell that out originally.

    I don't know a damn thing about pirates, but I imagine they'd feel more comfortable airing their dirty laundry in public or just move on entirely, no? I'm not surprised to find "pirates" here. More surprised when individuals better suited for 4Chan think they're pirates of this sort. (No, I was not directing that last comment at you or any individual in particular. Shit's all made up anyway.)

    BTW, of the cherry picked lines, I'm seeing one older one, two within a year, and two very recent.

    Fair enough. To be honest, I couldn't find the option to do so.
     
  2. YMO

    YMO Chief Fun Officer

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    With spring cleaning comes the dirty laundry. Not really a fan of the dirty laundry if I have to be honest.
     
  3. k4rstar

    k4rstar Britney fan club president

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    oh boy, no one laughed at my attempt at levity

    i've been banned from this site for like 9 months for acting like an asshole. i read HitmanFluffy's callia review and immediately knew it was insincere, because Colin is a troll and quite possibly a sadist. i still like him but the dude can't help himself, he has behavioral issues, and as Marv said the shtick was getting old.

    i was participating in the aforementioned clandestine Discord servers over a year ago. i left because it was actually so negative and toxic all the f'ing time i felt it was better for my mental health to not participate. i said my fair share of retarded shit too, about SBAF and about Marv, which i cringe to think about now. i wrote Marv a sincere apology, he's never done anything bad to me and he's helped me out more than once, as a person i have no grounds to talk shit about him. he extended an olive branch to me and he's also done so to all the other people who did the same, and believe me there were a lot worse things said - the screenshots posted are just cocktail hour stuff.

    @JoshMorr is putting on his tough guy act right now for this thread but he is the nicest guy I know in this hobby and his intentions are sincere. I would definitely grant him a favor on the day of my daughter's wedding

    @MrTeaRex is an asshole and will never admit he was wrong about anything, definitely pee in his amp if you get the chance

    for the rest of you, if you know you said some edgy mean things but you still like the forum, just man up and say sorry. @RobS seems like a psychopath but he still realized his behavior was wrong and Marv is being a fair leader like Augustus. Jude would not give you the opportunity to admit you did wrong or even have a platform to speak.



    if you know you said some edgy mean things and don't want to say sorry, you are admitting you are an asshole and accept the things that come with that - such as being publicly shamed and losing your Friend status. if you don't like the forum, you should set up your host file in windows to redirect superbestaudiofriends.org to https://www.reddit.com/r/kittens/ I actually did this for a while and it was quite effective
     
  4. purr1n

    purr1n Desire for betterer is endless.

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    You don't get to have an opinion. You haven't been around long enough.
     
  5. purr1n

    purr1n Desire for betterer is endless.

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    @MrTie:

    This could be guilt by association for you. I did say scorched earth after all. :(I know there are others. I don't have a complete list. I'm simply need to know if you actually want to participate in a meaningful way. The banner can be removed and status restored if you wish. It sounds like that is what you want. I am deeply hurt right now so I am thinking straight and can't read between the lines.

    -

    @JoshMorr:

    I get it. The blowing off steam, the unfiltered chats, the Changstar way. I have have no problem with people going off on their own and forming their own groups and doing their own thing. I myself have my own circle in NorCal and SoCal. However, these snippets I have read pretty ugly. It would be one thing if they were occasional, but this has been going for on years now. Right now I'm half messing with you guys with the labels. I'd said I can only take things at face value and I still do. However I am aware that certain actions and encouragements in the Discords (pun intended) have caused unnecessary consternation, negativity affecting the behavior of some members, which has in turn required considerable moderator time.

    This is what happens when there is a shadow-forum, to borrow a phrase from my line of work, shadow-IT. I probably shouldn't take this stance, but shadow-IT can sometimes be beneficial, driving innovation, being more efficient and responsive. It can also be a fricking disaster. Tea-party-chat seems to be the latter. Two fairly recent incidents have now made it to "my face". It's not just behind my back anymore where I can ignore it. In regards to the Changstar way, I get it. However, I also know first-hand the toxicity of the Changstar way. It breeds negativity and anger, in a positive (that is additive) feedback loop that creates runaway situations. If you don't believe this, then why are several people in Tea-party-chat feeding me specific information? Remember, I tried the Changstar tough-guy way. In the end, it imploded.

    Let me give you some advice. Don't crap on people behind their backs. Not because one day they might see it (well that too). But because it poisons your mind, to the point where you've lost touch and don't know it. I've been guilty this too. My boss pulled me aside the other day for going sarcastic - COVID has been stressful at work. Take it upon yourself to be the negative feedback loop that corrects distortion.

    People come and people go. I'm aware of that. I expect people to "graduate" and move on especially once they start concentrating on two channel, which SBAF has barely touched. What I want to know is if you truly do want to participate here. You say you are 100% pro SBAF, yet I don't get the sense that you are truly are. I am reading excuses; and it sounds like you are already well on your way out. I don't know. You tell me. It's not personal. I simply want peace.

    --

    There's way more than five cherry picked lines. There is a history dating back years of people being unhappy. I could care less about the words. What I'm saying is that you are so unhappy or can't make up your mind, then for your own sake stay away and don't engage in behaviors that leave deleterious results here.
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2020
  6. dark_energy

    dark_energy Friend

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    I couldn't agree more. This is what makes teams and relations bad. In my mind, they don't because I don't want to be part of a "bottom feeder team" that sucks and has no soul. The poison seeps out, always. Be good, do decent things. Try to do it every moment. Ignore shit talkers and leeches. Focus on positive things and actual progress.

    If most people you chose to be around are good, then look in the mirror if there is a problem.

    This is my mindset anyway.
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2020
  7. RobS

    RobS RobS? More like RobDiarrhea.

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    Since I already made an apology to purr1n privately, I'd like to make a public one to both SBAF and Jason.

    To SBAF crew, I apologize for antagonizing you guys and stirring up shit right before I got banned. I was trying to be a funny and edgy contrarian, but ended up looking like a shithead. I completely take blame for my actions and behavior. Yes there was some toxic influences outside of SBAF that contributed to my later style of posting but I should have done better. I like you guys and the community and the incredible amount of valuable information that has been shared over the years. I still lurk all the time going back through old threads. I'm sorry for being a reprehensible poster. If given the chance, I would like to make amends by posting better (or rather less) and lurking more.

    To Jason @schiit. I owe you a massive apology and this might not matter to you coming from a random internet Porker like me. The toilet gif was regrettably stupid. I did not mean to disparage you, but looking back I can see if that was interpreted as such. You don't deserve that. You are well esteemed by everyone here, well except some of these closet haters, but f**k em. I was a total shitbag by crapping all over the Yggdrasil and later on the Jotunheim and indirectly calling you a crap amplifier designer. You had a hand in both these creations and they are your "children" sort of speak, so I can imagine you were hurt by how I trashed them. I should have been more gracious and tactful with what my problems were. Saying one of your products was straight up "garbage" was uncalled for. I'm sorry. FWIW I've done a total 180 on how I feel about the Yggdrasil now, which is even more embarrassing I know, and Aegir is a killer f'ing amp (all the impressions I made under my "Hinterlander" account are truthful). But again Jason I'm truly sorry of my previous activity that may have caused you to be more hesitant to contribute here and if I made SBAF a more toxic place because of it. I wish Schiit continued success and of course I'll end up buying more of the stuff you guys come out with.

    @k4rstar - yeah a previous therapist suggested something like that but more so the other two sides of the dark triad. I was more sociopathic when I was younger though.
     
  8. k4rstar

    k4rstar Britney fan club president

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    @RobS good for you man. two years ago i would've called you a pussy but this post took balls. i was joking with the psycho comment, i know you are not a bad dude.

    @purr1n WELL SAID, two years ago i would've not absorbed anything you said. since then i've gone through three promotions at work and had to manage teams of 40+ people across three offices. that is a humblebrag but i had to get much more mature very quickly if anyone was going to take me seriously as a manager.

    life has its stressors and we can use reminders to not be dickheads, wake up calls to not engage in stress relief that does more harm than good; if not to us then those around us. no dicksucking i have new found respect for you - i don't know many people capable of turning internet forum drama into tangible life lessons.
     
  9. JoshMorr

    JoshMorr Friend

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    Thanks for replying with a cool head Marv. Seeing your name being discussed in unflattering manner sucks. I agree with your posts, and cant defend the worst comments. They are pretty awful. While I say that I enjoy SBAF and all it has to offer, I am associating with people that are sometimes mean spirited and don't have the best intentions, especially when taken out of context, which ins't an excuse. I viewed it as possibly hanging out at a bar with a few bad apples, but we know the rest of that phrase.

    It seems that several flareups of bad behavior are coming from people who are on discord, but oddly enough, they are all independent and unrelated. I think the larger picture is that a good portion of SBAF is on discord in one way or another. Overusing the bar analogy, the audio section is New Orleans and unfortunately Bourbon St gets ugly.

    Long live SBAF - keep the good content coming, keep playing the best music, and enjoy the hobby and the friends in it.
     
  10. purr1n

    purr1n Desire for betterer is endless.

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    @RobS and @k4rstar:

    Take the example of @Psalmanazar. He's grown from a shitposter banned 57 times who once engaged in the OG ChangChat to a contributing member where a lot of members (except maybe one or two whose opinions he may have called retarded) fricking love his posts. He never sought to make me his enemy despite me being more a dick to him than he to me. Instead, he's reached out to me on our shared interests with recording and music production. This stuff was a prior life for me long ago, so I am grateful that he's pointed me in right direction with all this new technology. (It's like holy crap, there's gate and compressor in the Motu - I don't have to buy x2 1U boxes?).

    I perhaps maybe just doodle on my bass one or two times a week. Just need to get my daughter on the drums and my son's hands to get bigger so we can do Partridge Family.
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2020
  11. k4rstar

    k4rstar Britney fan club president

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    I only have two gripes with @Psalmanazar

    1) his constant f'ing memeing of pro audio DACs except its taken 72% seriously so people actually buy the latest 50 shades of gray delta-suckma converter and pretend to enjoy music with it. i have to remind myself it's not really his fault. i tried to remind people it's a meme with the annual psalm dac charts - i have a civic duty to make it known R-2R is the righteous path, this is a topic for another thread.

    2) messages me at 2AM to talk about whether quested or ATC is more lo-fi

    [​IMG]

    @Psalmanazar i recall now i called you a moronic troll during a mood swing, i know you are impervious to ad hominems but i am sorry for this. the forum would not be the same without you
     
  12. Deep Funk

    Deep Funk Deep thoughts - Friend

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    Someone, bring @purr1n cheese. Right now...



    P.S. Take care @purr1n
     
  13. purr1n

    purr1n Desire for betterer is endless.

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    He's our @Psalmanazar.

    It's a matter of understanding him where new (and old) members will struggle. He's changed his opinion on gear over time, honing in more on strengths and weaknesses of stuff.
     
  14. Jay

    Jay Facebook Friend

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    I know the expression of having thicker skin is often more hurtful than the actual trolling that caused personal harm. It minimizes the victim. Even if it was true, it's much easier said than done. The pain and hurt from people talking poorly about one is real. The damage is real.

    IRL, I'm a college professor. Students get to anonymously evaluate me through formal university surveys (that only my bosses and I get to see) and also through a collection of public websites that students can use to help choose their classes and professors. While the majority of comments are positive and helpful, there's sometimes one or two that are clearly written maliciously under false pretexts and pretenses. Even though I know that was the case and is not an actual reflection of my performance and ability, it cuts deep. It hurts. It's tough to shake off. It can make you doubt why you even go to the efforts you do.

    Anonymity brings out the true darkness in people. They feel empowered to attack and do things they would never say to your face. Social media has taken this to the next level because people can hide behind an avatar and troll away. As I mentioned in an another thread, scientists have actively researched this behavior and found it to be a combination of pyschopathy, sadism, and Machiavellianism.

    But it's not just social media. As a professor, I have to research and publish scientific papers. The publication process depends on anonymous peer-review. Others in your field critique your work and decide if it's acceptable for publication. This can also bring out the inner monster in some people. While the anonymity is essential to protect all parties involved, some reviewers use that protective cloak to be mean spirited and hurtful. Rather than critiquing the work and offering suggestions for improvement, they attack the work, and worse yet, sometimes attack the authors.

    What I'm saying is these students and scientific reviewers will tell you to your face your teaching and research is good, but then when they get to be anonymous, the fangs can really come out. They'll ask for your advice, approval, support, leniency, etc. in person, but then will resort to malicious tactics behind your back.

    I can certainly relate.
     
  15. RobS

    RobS RobS? More like RobDiarrhea.

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    Lol yeah discrete ladder DACs are the only way for me bro. I'm curious what will come next from Soekris then I can go full Scandinavian-fi with my two channel setup (Dynaudio speakers and Tandberg amplifier). If you got any other discrete R2R DACs worth checking out I'd be very interested. You were one of the people I'd say on Discord I missed reading new posts from. I was sad that you almost vanished from all audio forums, except for some blog someone sent me. Glad to see you back. BTW I've taken up your mantle on telling everyone to get an HD650 with Valhalla 2. I know that might not be what you are using anymore but it rules. I recently got some Siemens Aframe tubes, which makes @famish99 cry cause he thinks I'm wasting them, but the lack of grain and cloudiness from stock tubes is awesome. It's like having a Valhalla 3.

    I dabbled a bit in the pro-audio world and ultimately its not for me. I'm no longer Psalm's disciple. I found someone preaching a different gospel for vintage audio gear so that's where I am now. I just need to eventually bite the bullet and get into vinyl.

    EDIT: Gonna go back thru some old posts and remove the dislikes I made.
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2020
  16. purr1n

    purr1n Desire for betterer is endless.

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    Following up. This is what we do. We get stuff out in the open like the ending of Mean Girls and move on. Being the coach, principal, or parent to sort all this high-school shit out - that's my burden. I don't do Tiananmens.
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2020
  17. purr1n

    purr1n Desire for betterer is endless.

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    I'd like to point out a few things:
    • Isn't "Audio Associates" a term that refers to folks who were recruited into Tea-party-chat?
    • As far as "blowing off steam in unrelated place", if this unrelated place is simply for blowing off steam, then why has it just recently been taken down? Perhaps because there is so much incriminating "occasional" toxic content?
    Up to you. I just want to know if you plan on continuing with actions that do negatively affect this place.
     
  18. MrTie

    MrTie Friend

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    @purr1n I think there might be some confusion or conflation between two separate discords, audio associates is very much still up. There is/was another discord with HMF & OJ I haven't been there in prob two+ years. I don't think I personally have engaged in any directly negative actions, beyond the occasional, person X is deaf, or occasionally being amused by drama, but I haven't participated in creating any of that, that I am aware of.
     
  19. purr1n

    purr1n Desire for betterer is endless.

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    We're cool then. You were 1% of on the toxic meter and arguably I'm more of an ass here than you there, but I had to know.
     
  20. purr1n

    purr1n Desire for betterer is endless.

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    I bitched to @zerodeefex that you got your wires crossed on the OPTs I sent you. Please continue to pester me with questions - always. Checking my text messages now to make sure I didn't call you retarded.
     

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