Verum: Doing The Right Thing

Discussion in 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' started by Ryanr1987, Jul 17, 2020.

  1. purr1n

    purr1n Desire for betterer is endless.

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    That's up for customers to judge, the sincerity factor. The customer relations consultant can coach. Still up to the CEO. CEOs in the USA have been forced to step down for less.

    You are probably right. Evasion doesn't work. It's not about wrong or right, it's about getting along. Sometimes this requires swallowing of pride and changing perception. Whether one thinks perception is true or fair, it's perception, the existing reality. I know how other cultures work and would have a hard time understanding this. Americans I've witness are good at swallowing pride, admitting wrong, and doing penance. Small price to pay for doing business. Whether it's fake or not, the American public seem a lot more forgiving. Asians take it personally for life. Look at how Jude hates me still and continues to badmouth SBAF behind the scenes.

    Is it worth it to be right "I was only kidding", but lose exposure from influential sites and the grace of the customer? That attitude in fact only digs a greater hole. Might be irredeemable now. That $100k donation to BLM or other similar causes may actually be necessary now. Or he might have to blow up Stone Mountain.
     
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2020
  2. Dzerh

    Dzerh Friend

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    And just another try in trying to clarify cultural differences - Garuspik is not a racist, he is disrespectful to people in general. Imagine a kid using words without understanding but knowing that it will hurt the opponent.

    It is just pretty hard to be a racist in Ukraine, there are simply not enough people of other races to feel threatened and xenophobia takes different forms there.
     
  3. monacelli

    monacelli Friend

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    To me, this has very little to do with "trolling on Discord." I'm borderline too old to know what Discord is, much less use it. But like @Dzerh says, this has more to do with common decency and not treating your customers like garbage. If you contact a vendor, anyone who owns a business, and they tell you they hope you and your family die of cancer, it's over. I don't want to have anything to do with you. And the worst thing is, that's not even close to being an isolated incident. Below is another image from a Reddit thread. Someone contacted him about problems with an order, and this was his reply. I would lose all respect for the admins and this community if he is allowed back. I don't care what his headphones sound like. I'm frankly shocked that Amir even lets him hang out at ASR.

    [​IMG]
     
  4. LetMeBeFrank

    LetMeBeFrank Won't tell anyone my name is actually Francis

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    He can take his racist "jokes" and f**k off. Let him sell his headphones to other discord trolls and see how far that gets him.
     
  5. purr1n

    purr1n Desire for betterer is endless.

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    I'd be happy to ask my black co-workers (one replaced a totally incompetent dude and the other is a VP) what they think of that, explaining that this was the poster's "style" and that he was just "joking".
     
  6. mitochondrium

    mitochondrium Friend

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    When in Rome do like the Romans do.

    Regardless where you come from there is no excuse for such behaviour I am with @LetMeBeFrank on this.
     
  7. Merrick

    Merrick A lidless ear

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    I'm having a hard time making the distinction between a racist and a person who is willing to say things he knows will be considered racist by the audience he's talking to. I mean, it's not like he's just connecting random words together and they happen to result in racist/homophobic/antisemitic comments by accident.
     
  8. penguins

    penguins Friend, formerly known as fp627

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    Practically speaking, if enough people here don't want him here, then why bother? It's going to do more harm to the forum in terms of peoples' perceptions than it will benefit the forum IMO. From this perspective, I say just leave the door closed. If people accuse this place of being whiny SJWs or of moral gesturing, then up to mods / ownership to decide what to do in response. If we receive support for standing up to garu and hate... also up to ownership how it's handled... etc.

    Personally, I don't care if he is let back in or not.
    Don't care if he is banned b/c
    1) Freedom of speech also means freedom of consequences (especially b/c SBAF is not publicly owned)
    2) I have already decided I won't be doing business or interacting with him anyways as a consequence of his actions.

    Don't care if he is unbanned b/c
    1) He doesn't personally affect me (or let's be real, the majority of members), get in my way, or do anything to me - all I have to do is just don't actively seek him out. Easy enough.
    2) I don't think I'm so morally and self-superior that I'm going to go around dictating (I make a suggestion above, that's it) to the owner/s of a forum (that I or we are all guests at) what their beliefs and actions towards people I disagree with needs to be. I just do what I can (in this case garu loses my business) and move on.
    3) *warning - random tirade* I also believe we all somewhere deep in our ancient monkey/lizard brains have some kind of hate, usually in different forms, often unrealized, unacknowledged, and/or mental gymnastic-ed away in unhealthy manners at sometimes great personal or societal cost. I strongly feel that making this acknowledgement so we actually know how to address our irrational hatreds in a practical and logical way is the true first step that is much needed for the different peoples of the world to work together and overcome hatred being the norm in human history. Consequently, completely dropping the hammer on people who disagree with us is not going to help this slow movement towards harmony.

    EDIT: NVM I just saw the photo of the above that was posted as I typed the above. I will request we Leave the ban ON. There is a difference between working with people you don't like or disagree with to move forward and make progress versus just letting people who don't want to change or improve act like idiots. These types of Idiots will sink the whole ship.
     
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2020
  9. Phantaminum

    Phantaminum Friend

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    I'm really at a loss for words here. It's grossly disgusting to talk about a group set of people disparagingly or just to use them as a point of conversation to get laughs. I'm sad but even more so glad he's been banned. This should never be tolerated in any community. Just dumb struck...
     
  10. JK47

    JK47 Guest

     
  11. Ryanr1987

    Ryanr1987 Facebook Friend

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    Whether he's being sincere or not, who knows. If he wanted to troll on discord though maybe don't mention a word that involved slavery that is a horrible part of history and is is still causing problems today. Despite his reasons, there has to be some punishment, you don't get to say those things and come back and everything is all good again, what is that teaching younger readers? impressionable readers, other venders? you can say what you want as long as you're sorry?

    If it was up-to me, he'd be gone, let things die down first, he's clearly offended masses of people and has acted an arse, see how people feel in 6 moths time, longer. Moderators decision at the end of the day but having him back on here doesn't look good for the forum, not yet; just one mans opinion.
     
  12. yotacowboy

    yotacowboy McRibs Kind of Guy

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    If we're voting here, i'm voting "nah, f**k this mess." Good headphones are just that, good headphones.
     
  13. gaspasser

    gaspasser Flatulence Maestro

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    "The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in times of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality.”
    -Dante


    I've sat on the sidelines long enough and my name has been invoked many times.

    Marv, your reopening this thread and saying your hands are tied smacks of you really pulling for Verum (the company). You have stated bluntly before that SBAF is not a Democracy; why are you making it one now? You clearly are biased here. You already admitted embarrassment and obliquely apologized to me for giving Igor the benefit of the doubt and downplaying my incident. I was personally attacked by him or a representative of his company for no real reason. Am I really a "difficult" customer (not really, where is the evidence)? I didn't do anything to deserve having curses hurled at me. Being of Eastern European descent, this is a major cultural thing and Verum (the company) knew exactly what they were doing. Verum is a legitimate company whose founder and head honcho thinks he can play this game of hiding behind cultural differences. I've traveled around the world and lived for years in a different country. An asshole is an asshole period no matter what culture you are from. I showed all of this stuff to a Ukrainian business school friend. Her one word response: "Asshole." Igor should know better than to use his company name and go all over the internet and Discord trolling and saying shitty things.

    I am over my incident with Verum and Igor and I actually wish his company well. If I had the time I would offer to help him rehab his image and educate him on how to do business with Americans.

    I am more concerned, frankly, about you, Marv. Are you so interested in seeing Verum succeed that you are again willing to step on the feelings of many members here including me? If so, then like others here I will leave this site. If you are yet again willing to use the "cultural differences" excuse to overlook racist asshole comments then I view that as an endorsement.
     
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2020
  14. gaspasser

    gaspasser Flatulence Maestro

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    I disliked this, then changed it because I want to ask you WTF does this even mean? Hopefully, I'm misinterpreting it.
     
  15. Dzerh

    Dzerh Friend

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    +1
     
  16. wadec22

    wadec22 Almost "Made"

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    i read it as Marv being pretty damn offended by what he just read. maybe i also misinterpreted?
     
  17. gaspasser

    gaspasser Flatulence Maestro

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    I read it as him saying, “maybe it’s not that bad”. I don’t know. I’m personally biased pro-BLM movement and get easily fired up about racist stuff. That is why I undisliked and asked.
     
  18. wadec22

    wadec22 Almost "Made"

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    agree with everyone else here. this isn't some guy who has some charm or character that grows on you and is worth putting up with an abrasive outside. lots of those folks that are worth getting to know.

    this is a guy who is a damn genius as an audio engineer but has exposed himself as an asshole. 1 step forward is quickly knocked down by several leaps back. he should gtfo.
     
  19. Dzerh

    Dzerh Friend

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    It was sarcasm.
     
  20. purr1n

    purr1n Desire for betterer is endless.

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    Sarcasm about the asking.

    Also, my hands are tied in terms of allowing Verum back in. That is only someone who is insane would do so given lack of remorse, minimization of own actions, deflection of responsibility, etc. I always want to see people do the right thing and give them an opportunity. There are other members who have been poopyheads in the past, but they have been able to convince me of their sincerity to do better and give them another chance. But how can I here in this case? Doubling down on stupidity makes it impossible for me to give a second chance.

    In fact, that response makes the hole even deeper. It just went from $100k to $1M donation NAACP college endowment fund.
     
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2020

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