The Funny/LOL Thread

Discussion in 'Random Thoughts' started by ultrabike, Oct 15, 2015.

  1. Rob the Comic

    Rob the Comic banned from ASR

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    I’ve just got to ask - why is the tattoo on his back ha ha.
     
  2. Rob the Comic

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  3. Biodegraded

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  4. Thad E Ginathom

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    Queue here for Surfin' The Dog.
     
  5. Biodegraded

    Biodegraded Friend

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    Can Your Pussy Do the Dog - The Cramps
     
  6. Rob the Comic

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    Vale Lizzy ER.

    I’m no royalist but I liked and respected the Queen.
    We were similar. My brother and I grew up in a very rough place with no parents. At one stage we spent a year in an immigration camp; we weren’t immigrants - but we were poor white trash. We’d run away and sleep in parks and empty houses. We never asked to be born into that, but we played the cards we were dealt. I’ve had a successful career doing something I love with a modicum of talent and my brother is a senior government official.
    The Queen never asked to be born into it either, but she played the cards she was dealt and played them well, with a life of service and dignity.
    They don’t make them like that anymore.
     
  7. updated

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    Well... your small amount of talent has given me joy at at times that were perfect.
    I troll your page oftimes in need of cheer.
    I give you many thanks :)
     
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  8. Jinxy245

    Jinxy245 Vegan Puss

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  9. Rob the Comic

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  10. Rob the Comic

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  11. Rob the Comic

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  12. Rob the Comic

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    I had to read it out loud duh,
     
  13. Thad E Ginathom

    Thad E Ginathom Friend

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    Back to the 1950/60s... (the first one should be read aloud by someone else)

    How do you get four elephants in a Mini?
    --- Two in the front, two in the back.
    How do you get two whales in a mini?
    --- Take the A40 and turn left. ("to Wales." From London, I suppose)

    How do you know when elephants have been in the fridge?
    --- Footprints in the butter.

    How do elephants hide in cherry trees?
    --- Paint their toenails red.

    There was a whole load of elephant jokes. Who remembers more?
     
  14. Thad E Ginathom

    Thad E Ginathom Friend

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    There were dozens of what-do-you-call jokes too. My brain cells, at this time, offer up but one...

    What do you call a crow with a machine gun?
    --- Sir.
     
  15. Tchoupitoulas

    Tchoupitoulas Friend

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    What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Cliff.

    What do you call a man with rabbits under his feet? Warren.

    What do you call a man with a shovel? Doug.

    What do you call a man in a pile of leaves? Russell.

    What do you call a man in a field with cows? Pat.

    What do you call a man who's been scratched by his cat? Claude.

    ---

    What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer.

    What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no eye deer.

    What do you call a deer with no eyes, legs, or genitalia? Still no f@%$ing eye deer.
     
  16. TheloniuSnoop

    TheloniuSnoop Friend

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    -- What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming out of the jungle?
    "Here come the elephants out of the jungle."
    -- What did he say when he saw them wearing sunglasses?
    Nothing. He didn't recognize them.

    --Why do ducks have flat feet?
    To stamp out forest fires.

    --Why do elephants have flat feet?
    To stamp out burning ducks.
     
  17. TheloniuSnoop

    TheloniuSnoop Friend

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    What do call a guy in the water? Bob

    What do you call a guy laying in front of the door? Matt
     
  18. Beefy

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    What do you call a man without a shovel? Douglas.
     
  19. TheloniuSnoop

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    What do you call a cross between an elephant and a rhino?

    'ell-if-I-know!?
     
  20. Thad E Ginathom

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    What's yellow and highly dangerous?


    ---Shark-infested custard.
     

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