Rogue One is Awesome! Now let's shit all over it!!! (F'n right spoilers)

Discussion in 'Random Thoughts' started by ButtUglyJeff, Dec 22, 2016.

  1. ButtUglyJeff

    ButtUglyJeff Stunningly beautiful IRL

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    Okay @Marvey has made it perfectly clear to me that this is the best thing since Spaceballs....

    But with that said, it is absolutely clear our cumulative "Nerd Force" needs to vent the piles of ways this movie blew it.

    So, as the greatest lover of this movie, I shall begin:

    1) Too many planets! We get it, the galaxy is a big place. But this story doesn't need 247 of them to work...

    2) CGI Tarkin is too distracting. Again, we get it IRL is amazeballs, but the face CGI crap isn't ready face close up prime time. Its too god damn distracting. I get that we need Tarkin for the story, but how about more indirect shots and wide angle stuff with him in the background. I promise all y'all in 25 years we'll all look at this film again and let out a huge WTF! And we wont have a George Lucas trying to "fix" it.

    3) CGI Leah...... see CGI Tarkin times a milion

    4) The new ships all blew, except the U Wing. That really felt like it came from Episode I II and III. Some ships were supposed to look like POSs but come on, all of them? And whaaaat's with all the fold up wings? They all don't need them..

    And who in their right mind thought of introducing the Tie Striker? The move ends right at the start of New Hope, and what don't we see in that movie? TIE STRIKERS!!! Or in Empire... Or in Jedi... what a boner...

    5) Too much shit got wiped out for the sake of Tarkin's boner. So lets do a body count: Krennic and his Death Troopers, all AT-ACTs, all Beach Troopers, and every hero.... Way to take the easy out Disney.

    6) And the record for the most extras murdered goes to Vader!!!! Why doesn't Darth get to kill anyone important?

    7) And this is the doosie. Why the ever living f**k did we need reshoots? Reshoots?!?!?!?! I'm 99% certain the first cut of this movie would have ruined 11 pairs of my underwear. It would have been darker. Jyn would have had more daddy/daughter issues. And maybe her mom wouldn't have gone batshit crazy trying to point a gun at 6 Death Troopers and expect to live...

    There, I feel a little better. Your turn...
     
  2. Merrick

    Merrick A lidless ear

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    I didn't like this movie. Film Crit Hulk explains the things that didn't work for me: http://birthmoviesdeath.com/2016/12...-hulk-the-slippery-sloping-story-of-rogue-one

    I felt like the movie bungled almost everything after Jyn sees the message from her father. Up to that point things were a bit choppy but I was invested and the character motivations made sense. Afterwards, motivation, characterization, and plotting went right out the window. How did the filmmakers expect us to be invested in the plight of the characters when they never established what they needed to do to pull of the heist of the plans? It felt like a video game, they only told us the most immediate objective and then when that was accomplished the movie would throw out a new objective just because the movie needed some more runtime.

    What was the point of the mind reading octopus if Bodhi didn't actually lose his mind as a result? How much more interesting would the film have been if he was messed in the head and had to fight to recall important information? Why did Saw decide that he was going to die pointlessly when he did, when for the first time in years he had information that could do real damage to the Empire? Why was the Tantive IV docked inside the Rebel flagship when Bail Organa said he was going to send Leia to find Obi-Wan Kenobi? So much of the movie completely falls apart when you apply the slightest amount of scrutiny to it.

    Edit: The best parts for me was seeing Smits back as Senator Organa and Saw's right hand dude, who looked menacing as hell.
     
    Last edited: Dec 22, 2016
  3. ButtUglyJeff

    ButtUglyJeff Stunningly beautiful IRL

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    Awww man I forgot the tentacle porn...
     
  4. landroni

    landroni Friend

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    I for one loved the planets. That's large in my motivation to see new Star Wars franchise items. They pretty cool, and they seem to almost always get it right...
     
  5. eastboundofnowhere

    eastboundofnowhere Facebook Friend

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    I loved it for two reasons, both of which are related to the prequels. First, and most importantly, the timeline wipes some of the taint away from Phantom Toddler and Attack of the Emos…Episode III was at least passable(barely). Secondly, the prequels admittedly lowered my expectations for the franchise as a whole.

    I do agree with most of ButtuglyJeff's points. I liked the CGI pilots from Red Squadron and liked that we now know why Blue Squadron didn't make the attack on the Death Star, but I couldn't stand the rest of them. By the way, if you are doing it, then go all the way. Where is Porkins? I am convinced that Rey is actually the offspring of Porkins and Admiral Ackbar. Ackbar reminded Porkins of his favorite dish and hence their love sprang into the force. Anyone else notice how Rey's two interests at the start of The Force Awakens are food and pilot memorabilia?

    Did not like that the typical John Williams themed opening was AWOL.

    Mostly though I love it that they had the balls to do the logical and thematically more powerful tthing and kill off all the characters. I bet some of the reshoots were done for this purpose. I imagine they initially assumed studio execs would make them save at least two of the characters.

    Off topic: if there are two Golden Schlong winners from the same manufacturer this year we could always call it The Twisted Golden Schwartz Award.
     
  6. eastboundofnowhere

    eastboundofnowhere Facebook Friend

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    Forgot about Smits! Loved it! From wooden cardboard cutout to believable human being (through no fault of his own, I am sure).
     
  7. insidious meme

    insidious meme Ambivalent Kumquat

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    From what I've read, the reshoots were to make the movie darker and kill everyone. I think Erso and Cassian were originally supposed to live.
    Also, it's like half the scenes from the early teaser and trailer weren't even in the finished movie.
     
  8. purr1n

    purr1n Desire for betterer is endless.

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    Disney should have done something different and have everyone live.
     
  9. TMRaven

    TMRaven Friend

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    My two biggest criticisms:

    1. The (human) characters weren't memorable.

    2. CGI Tarkin.

    3. Why even include Forest Whitaker's character?

    CGI Tarkin is perhaps more of a downer to me than the characters. At least K2-SO steals the show. Some of his lines were a little forced, but for the most part it was dry-wit gold. These aren't Star Wars-esque hero characters, and I'm glad they all ended up dying, because it paints a more realistic picture on the actions and consequence of war.

    CGI Leia was shown for what-- a half of a second?-- so who cares. Tarkin on the other hand was put front and center in many shots, and had too much movie time. There were certain instances where he wasn't so distracting, and looked very believable, but there were others where all I was looking at was his awkwardly rigid face and animations, and as a result not even paying attention to the dialogue during said scenes. Star was was originally a trilogy that prided itself on ground-breaking practical effects. This is the best CGI'd human face I've seen don't get me wrong, but we're still not at a point where even our best efforts can completely fool us. This also opens up a new and scary possibility in movies, where more and more dead greats will start reappearing again in future films. That's not something I really want to see.


    The good things about this movie:

    1. It doesn't rehash A new Hope

    2. There's no fan-fictiony Star Killer Base in it

    3. It's a Star Wars movie with an actual Space Battle... In space. Who'd a thought?

    4. Darth Vader


    We don't have to talk about the Darth Vader scene, everybody knows it's amazing.

    This movie ties some of the loose ends from A New Hope up rather nicely. It explains in a logical sense why it was so convenient to blow up the entire Death Star in A New Hope. It Highlights the sense of urgency, conflict, and sacrifice the rebels go through in order to even begin to stage an attack on this new threat. There's more buildup to killing the deathstar now. It's not like The Force awakens where the rebels...or resistance (again, really?) find this new fanfictiony super star killer base that sucks entire stars away magically and can kill multiple planets at a time untold distances away, and kill it without a second thought or drop of sweat.

    There's a space battle in this Star Wars movie, and it's actually good. I had shivers go down my spine when I saw that they actually managed to find unused footage of the original X-Wing pilots for the battle. Middle-Aged white men with mustaches piloting X-Wings, now this is Star Wars. Seeing the Mon Kalamari fleet and plenty of Star Destroys again is always welcomed. Seeing a Star Destroy come out of light-speed and snap other ships into two was also neat.
     
  10. zonto

    zonto Friend

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    I think we should though. After the initial excitement about the scene wore off, I think it's pretty weak and unbelievable. (Setting aside the other pointless Vader scene, including his horrible pun.)
    • In the beginning of A New Hope, Vader didn't storm the ship alone or even lead that attack. Storm Troopers led and Vader came in when it was safe. Seemed out of place it was just Vader in Rogue One.
    • OK so maybe Vader took matters into his own hands as there was some urgency in the Rogue One scene that wasn't there in the New Hope scene. Then why didn't Vader see/hear the last surviving soldier yelling at people through the door gap, holding and reaching out with the data card, and just force choke the guy? (Continuity.)
    • Why didn't that soldier toss the data card through the door gap instead of pointlessly holding onto it for what seemed like an eternity? (Suspense.)
    • Why couldn't Vader force-open the door or light-saber-cut the door open to continue his rampage and secure the card? (Continuity.)
    Just felt to me like the scene was there to wow us with Vader combat destruction and have characters act somewhat illogically just so we get the New Hope beginning continuity.
     
    Last edited: Dec 24, 2016
  11. TMRaven

    TMRaven Friend

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    My rationale behind it would be this:

    -As you said, this was an emergency situation and a last ditch effort, so vader decided to storm the ship head-first. In a New Hope, when Leia's Corvette is captured and pulled into a Star Destroyer's bay, Vader can afford the time to send in a bunch of horrible shots before himself.

    -I too was questioning the idea of why Vader didn't direct his attention directly to the guy at the door with the plans. The force should have made him aware of it right off the bat. If he can sense Luke's presence from a mile away he can sense this guy from a hallway's length away. My best guess would be that deflecting a slew of laser blasts is already mentally taxing enough, even for the saga's most powerful Sith. There's also a matter of convenience at play as well that is used to propel the overarching story along. It's not like the original trilogy had none of this.

    -The soldier at the door just wanted to live I would think. When he knew there was no hope left, he finally gave the plans away. Why he didn't give them sooner and then continue his efforts with the door-- well life and death situations can make anybody irrational.

    -Don't know about the door. Obviously Vader got through it eventually because it shows him at the end staring out the bay of the ship, but maybe what the movie doesn't show us is even more rebels or obstacles at play past it.
     
  12. FallingObjects

    FallingObjects Pay It Forward

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    Potential continuity error: R2D2 and CP30 appeared to be left behind on the base at Yavin, but had to have been on Leia's corvette. While you could handwave and say "Oh they got on off-screen later", there wasn't a hell of a lot of time for that, and if you were gonna do a fairly forced cameo appearance why not just do it in the ship?

    Gripe: Vader's first appearance is just him being angry because angry and then making an extremely forced pun. Just. Ugh.

    Praise: Vader's last scene wants me to get a Vader specific movie which is just him being a badass for 2 hours.
     
  13. landroni

    landroni Friend

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    So basically yet another Anakin Skywalker 2h-long teen-y hissy fit?
     
  14. FallingObjects

    FallingObjects Pay It Forward

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  15. Jabo

    Jabo New

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    Mads Mikkelsen, is he good in this flick?
     
  16. Boops

    Boops Friend

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    Yes.
     
  17. Boops

    Boops Friend

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    So true. I had not known they were going to do this, and it was beyond bad. For Tarkin and Leah, they should have used real actors that looked enough like them to work. It would have been fine.
     
  18. Psalmanazar

    Psalmanazar Most improved member; A+

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    @zonto @TMRaven
    Other than the pun, Vader was a totally different character in this compared to the original trilogy. The same with prequel Anakin. He might as well be a different person with the same name. Vader in the original movies has great reflexes (stops blaster shots on reaction with his hand) but he is huge middle-aged cyborg who kind of just lumbers and power walks around at best. He's not going into the boxing ring or a 100 yard dash but having to physically fight people or the writers even putting him in a situation where that would happen is just stupid. Vader's power is mainly the force. He doesn't have to chase you, he can just collapse your esophagus from miles away if he is aware of your location. He choked that guy through the videophone. Going through doors? Why would Vader even do that? He could just throw everything in the room at you with the Force like Magneto. That's what he did to Luke in the Empire Strikes Back. Use the lightsaber in an emergency situation? What? Lightsabers seem to be semi-ritualized dueling weapons like a samurai's katana in the original trilogy. If you're carrying a gun in a holster and running from Vader, he would just use the Force to fire it into your leg. Bye bye if you're packing a thermal detonator.

    Has Mads ever been bad?
     
  19. ultrabike

    ultrabike Measurbator - Admin

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    Watched it in Cd Juarez, and in Spanish @ Las Misiones Mall.

    May watch it again in English in El Paso.

    1) Shit! Everybody dies. Everybody. Which is fine since none of the main characters make it to the next episodes I guess. Convenient.

    2) Did not know about "directors" in the Empire. Next we'll see imperial vice presidents, CEOs, CFOs, CTOs, and UFOs. Maybe this is cannon, or non-cannon, or whatever. But I would just put a general or a Moff or anything in the traditional Empire ranks.

    3) Diego Luna is proly going to be the next Mexican president after this.

    4) Vader. Well lets face it. He could have indeed force choke every looser in that ship all at once and fast forward to bitch slap Leia (his own daugther) for the plans. But he wanted to play with his red stick. What you're gonna do. Was he different in IV V and VI? Well, IMO not that much. Consider that in IV he could have force choke Luke aboard his XXX-wing before ejaculating his load into the Dork Star's tight orifice. But he didn't cuz this time he wanted to play with his super-speshul Tie fighter. I do grant that V is unique, and renders Vader as one of the best bad asses that ever hit the screen. His super star destroyer is too awesome and proof folks in the empire deserved extintion for building another dead star instead of its equuvalent in moar super star destroyers.

    Overall to me this Star Wars film is second only to V (IV gets some brownie points for being the first to hit the screen). And it shows a glimpse of how things could have been if only Lucas had sold the franchise before he pulled Jar-Jar and Ewoks out of his stainer. It is not perfect. But I liked it.
     
    Last edited: Dec 25, 2016
  20. Psalmanazar

    Psalmanazar Most improved member; A+

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    Or a new powerful villain could have chased them... Wait that would require actual character development and decent writing. Too much work for Disney.
     

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