The Funny/LOL Thread

Discussion in 'Random Thoughts' started by ultrabike, Oct 15, 2015.

  1. kapanak

    kapanak Canucklehead - Friend

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    As somebody who worked in Subway for two years (grade 9 and 10), I approve of this story. But I have never heard a Subway employee talk like that ever.
     
  2. No_One411

    No_One411 Fired by Jude

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    Repost from Classical music thread....

    Please...



    Portsmouth Sinfonia, the group where you aren't allowed to know how to play the instrument you're playing.
     
  3. Deep Funk

    Deep Funk Deep thoughts - Friend

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    Great rendition, the vocalist subtly stole the show. Reminds me of how a crappy Pop song was turned into fun song...

     
  4. zobel

    zobel New

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    Conan learning the rumba;
     
  5. Kunlun

    Kunlun cat-alyzes cat-aclysmic cat-erwauling - Friend

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  6. Deep Funk

    Deep Funk Deep thoughts - Friend

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    Wait until the end. Jack White is funny...

     
  7. ultrabike

    ultrabike Measurbator - Admin

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    [​IMG]
     
  8. k3oxkjo

    k3oxkjo Friend

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    My Coleslaw Recipe
    by Emo Philips

    1. Chop cabbage into large bowl.
    2. Look for green peppers.
    3. Drive to store.
    4. Choose green peppers.
    5. Carry them to cashier.
    6. Drive home.
    7. Find wallet.
    8. Drive to store.
    9. Buy green peppers.
    10. Drive home.
    11. Chop green peppers into bowl.
    12. Look for mayonnaise.
    13. Drive to store.
    14. Buy mayonnaise.
    15. Drive home.
    16. Mix mayonnaise into bowl.
    17. Look for raisins.
    18. Drive to store.
    19. Buy stupid raisins.
    20. Ignore stupid cashier's snickering.
    21. Drive home.
    22. Mix raisins into bowl.
    23. Look for miserable lousy stupid carrots.
    24. Drive to stupid lousy store.
    25. Buy miserable stupid lousy carrots.
    26. Call stupid miserable snickering cashier a Nazi.
    27. Crawl to car.
    28. Drive home.
    29. Chop stupid damned miserable lousy carrots into damned stupid lousy miserable bowl.
    30. Look for finger.
    31. Look harder for finger.
    32. Look everywhere for finger.
    33. See cat scurrying away.
    34. Follow cat into new neighbor's house, surprising him in middle of drug deal.
    35. Dive over sofa to escape gunfire, landing on cat's tail, causing cat to screech and jump up into new neighbor's face and claw his eyes as he's bending over the sofa about to shoot you, enabling you to grab the gun from his hand, enabling you to hold the gun on him until the cops arrive, who then arrest him and drive you and the cat to the hospital where the cat's stomach is pumped and your finger is found and sewn back on good as new.
    36. Collect reward of half of neighbor's property from drug auction, then just buy all the delicious coleslaw you want from a nice deli.
     
  9. Friday

    Friday Friend

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    Anyone seen this before? Looks completely pointless to me. I didn't think that it would be taken seriously anywhere on this forum, so this thread looked like the best place to post about it. Maybe it was meant for human-grasshopper hybrids with ears on their abdomens.

     
  10. briskly

    briskly Friend

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    My sense of humor seems to dangerously slide past the bounds of taste constantly. Unfortunate that it does, and no less unfotunate that people stop laughing.
     
  11. Deep Funk

    Deep Funk Deep thoughts - Friend

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    "A Clockwork Orange" is not a light story when you rethink everything Burgess is trying to convey. It makes you question those in power and society in general whatever your perspective may be. So let us settle this on a more comical note.

    What do a human and a parrot have in common?

    You can brainwash both but "Polly wants a cracker" sounds cuter from a parrot's beak.

    [​IMG]
    http://www.radiotimes.com/news/2014...iled-in-london-to-pay-tribute-to-monty-python
     
  12. Jeb

    Jeb Friend

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    I was watching an old episode of Family Guy - Stewie meets Miley Cyrus.

    Shortly before Miley is revealed to be an android and goes haywire in a King-Kong style finale, her and Stewie perform their song "Friendship is the Best Thing Ever". It's been stuck in my head ever since and also made me think of SBAF.

     
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2015
  13. Thad E Ginathom

    Thad E Ginathom Friend

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    Wonderful! It really should be a permanent installation.
     
  14. Deep Funk

    Deep Funk Deep thoughts - Friend

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    YES!!!
     
  15. Kunlun

    Kunlun cat-alyzes cat-aclysmic cat-erwauling - Friend

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  16. Friday

    Friday Friend

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  17. The Alchemist

    The Alchemist MOT: Schiit - Here to help!

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    A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir." The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."

    Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly, dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."

    As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"

    The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."

    As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

    The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."


    The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."

    The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

    And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"

    The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

    "Only when he's been drinking."
     
  18. The Alchemist

    The Alchemist MOT: Schiit - Here to help!

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    12274265_861925313905689_6024199572863512830_n.jpg
     
  19. Deep Funk

    Deep Funk Deep thoughts - Friend

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  20. The Alchemist

    The Alchemist MOT: Schiit - Here to help!

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    competition -do we win something? :p
     

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