The Last Jedi Thread (with Spoilers)

It's longest?

 

I totally agree with @ultrabike. Not that I care anymore because its like beating a dead horse right now. The only redeeming quality is that it looks good. Outside of that, its pretty garbage. I can't recommend anyone to put it on their "to watch" list. Everyone I know either hated the last jedi, or said it was so boring that they fell asleep in the theatre.
Pretty much gave up since the prequels, though I was hoping all this hype for the sequel trilogy would be different.

To sum up its faults. Bad humor, Terrible Characters with no Development or character assassination, Bad Storyline, SJW stuff, Identity Politics, No relation to any of the previous movies, made up force powers on the spot.

Examples are like....ever since when does fuel become a factor in a star wars movie? If you constantly burn fuel in space, you'll go faster and faster because there is no resistance in space. That hyperspace weapon sequence looked beautiful but was dumb. Its like how do people hyperspace through space without fear of hitting an asteroid field or some debris somewhere? Then comes to the point, hey why didn't they just hyperspace kamakazi everything. Can't take down a star destroyer, just hyperspace an xwing. Might as well make hyperspace drone ships and have hyperspace wars. This is just one example of how they just broke mechanics of the whole universe just to be "cool". Force powers have become too strong and too crazy. Even with the force, no character was safe from struggling to beat an opponent or could defie death. I don't see anyone with any force power as strong as leia's power to do mary poppins in space. Like I can't see darth vader being able to do that shit even with his high midichlorian count.

I think the whole movie is like OH YOU THINk this is going to happen, but surprise!. This subversive tone turns it into a one trick pony. Its like Oh yeah...i don't feel any build up because you know its just gonna be broken. This is just scratching the surface, but @BillOhio already explained a lot of it already. Don't care enough to argue tbh, but I don't get why @Merrick is taking a proactive effort to argue for it. If an article has to be that long to try to convince you something is good, its not. Its like going to a restaurant and eating shit-tasting item that didn't taste like it before. The waiter tries to explain to you why that shit taste isn't really shit, but gourmet acquired taste you can't understand. At this point I would just tell them to stfu and I don't care because they ruined the original flavor of the item. Tell them unless they fix the flavor i'm not coming back as a customer. Instead of apologizing for my experience as a customer, waiter tells me i'm a pleb and can't understand asian food because my tastes are american/european white(just as an analogy). Still think lucasfilm is doing the right thing? LOL

Final point is WTF is everyone happy go lucky on the millenium falcon at the end of the last jedi? They just lost a shit ton of people, lost all their ships, and now have only a dozen people aboard the falcon. Your only force user is inexperienced( oh wait she's mary sue so she'll own everyone...how fun), and has a broken lightsaber. But yeah, just smile, laugh it off, have a good time....? Pretty much sums up the f'ing movie and how inconsequential everything is.

 

Damn you all. I have to read this article now.

1. Throne room battle is beautiful, tense, dramatic and has the best fight choreography of anything we've seen in any SW movie
2. Watching Ridley, Driver, Boyega perform is a delight
3. Luke's astral projection twist was genuinely surprising
4. Luke as a cranky, washed, reclusive hermit was completely unexpected, well-acted, nice contrast to old Yoda
5. Visual design of red salt battle was beautiful, unique
6. Milk walruses, crystal foxes are dope creatures

 

@ultrabike just posted a 12-point list which, if my reading comprehension has not suffered recently, consists of much more than “it’s shit”. In fact, it seems to me that you are the one repeating “but I loved it”. As I recall, the most substantive defense you posted boiled down to liking that Luke called Palpatine Darth Sidious, and that you liked the camera work. Can you tell the unenlightened here what you liked about the story? Please be specific.

 

@Boops

!. What about the throne room scene was good? They have no problem taking down snoke, and we have a bunch of scrubs fighting two force trained users...and they have a hard time at that. Also the choreography is really crap. like watch the opening fo the fight where a guy does a random 360, and misses daisy ridley on purpose because if he didn't she would be dead. Oh yeah, guy with 2 weapons just randomnly lost his other one at the convenience of daisy ridley. Its lazy at best. Yes it looked ornate and all, but i felt more engagement between luke and darth vader in empire strikes back.

2. The actors/actresses have talent, but what is delightful about such a terrible script/story/character development

3. Subversive mechanic that broke the universe. Like when the hell was such a force power of magnitude possible? SURPRISE

4. Character breaking. I mean Snoke, thsi overpowered dude who can completely own daisy ridley and kylo ren easily(both with their crazy force potential), feared lukes existence. You are telling me luke skywalker being a cranky man hermit drinking green milk is a welcome sight? He also gets beaten by Rey in a fight. Lol so much for him being anything of importance. SURPRise!

5. I agree...movie on a whole looks great though every sequence is so idiotic. wtf did they hope to accomplish by taking those rusty old vechiles that can't even fly. Its obviously a reference to snow speeders, and the whole point of the red planet was to just look good....it served no purpose.

6. The moment the porgs came out...its facepalm....yeah they want to sell star wars merchandise. When the crystal foxes came out.....My dad who doesnt' even follow star wars turned and said, "Man they want to sell those toys. Lol. Porgs for girls so they need crystal foxes for boys" Lol.

lol @ultrabike beat me

 

The reveal of Luke in this movie was a complete shock to the system. Drinking milk from a walrus tit to repulse Rey fit amazingly with his "f**k off and leave me alone" attitude in this movie.

I also forgot:
7. Porgs are very cute and lovable.

 

After 41 years I’m bored and done with Star Wars. I’ve moved on to the BBC’s series Humans. Better scripts, acting and character development.

Carry on.

 

The article's author had the brains to anticipate this objection. Search for the rhetorical flourish which begins with the string "I had a young black fan write me".

 

Snoke gets betrayed in his overconfidence. His death was unexpected and when Rey catches that flying lightsaber, it is envigorating, dramatic, and signals the change in her/Kylo's relationship. The fighting was balletic and the coordination between Rey/Kylo was f'ing cool to watch. These guys they are fighting aren't scrubs. They may not have the force, but they are elite guards, so I believe they'd be hard to f**k with especially with their weapons that are designed to match up against light sabers. The way things smoke and spark during the fight gave the weapons a physical presence we haven't seen before in these movies and added a real sense of danger and tension.

I did not see any of those choreography things you are pointing out on a first viewing. I'm sure those kinds of things are there if you want to slo-mo the scene for commentary, but they were not noticeable to me in the theater.

I honestly don't have a problem with any of the dialog or character moments from these three. Ridley and Boyega have that special quality that some actors have that lets them be completely present and engaging in front of the camera. Driver has this to a lesser extent, but he has an interesting face, his costuming is very good and his acting choices are just f'ing great. Watching them do what they do is a genuine pleasure that for me, is transcending the story issues that we've been talking about. If you disagree, then I am cancelling our planned date to go see episode 9. I am taking @Merrick instead.

This doesn't bother me. There are more expressions of the force possible than what we'd already seen in the past. Expertise evolves. Watch basketball from 30 years ago and you won't see the shit that people can do today. Martial artists of today build and expand on what came before. It doesn't mean the universe is broken, it's evolving and changing. This seems obvious to me.

People get old. People change. The change in Luke is supposed to be off-putting. We are supposed to be disappointed and shocked by what he's become. It's what sets up his return and the shit he does at the end. If he's just this awesome force god from the start he doesn't get to grow/change and we don't get to learn anything either. It's not dramatic and it's lazy.

The setting provided a few things: it was a new type of environment we hadn't seen before in SW. It was an interesting inversion of the Hoth sequence -- snow has become salt, etc. Rebels took out those speeders because it's all they had. There is something noble about knowing you are outmatched but going out there anyway.

They sell toys based on the movies. No shit. Not sure why the critters are assigned to specific genders, but that's me.

 

Sad thing is, it had every potential to be amazing for years. So many cool stories to tell. Instead we got this mess.

 

I know you are half kidding, but I would at least watch he trailer for that.

The force would be strong with a real SW western. Maybe Vader didn't hunt down and kill all the jedi and we get to follow along with one of them as they deal with the problems in a remote system town. Something like Sanjuro but in SW universe would be cool.

 

This post is cure for every problem in the world

 

One more thing on this: it didn't actually seem all that powerful to me from a raw force power perspective. If you were paying attention, the signs were there that it was an illusion that was pretty delicate and wouldn't really hold up on close scrutiny. It works against Kylo because Luke took care to rile him up and play on his biases/flaws so he would be too angry and battle hungry to realize what's actually going on. Leia knew, however, and the audience could have known if they noticed he wasn't leaving red footprints/marks in the salt and he didn't try to parry any of Kylo's strikes. I didn't notice, so the twist totally got me and I thought it was great.

 

You cannot trick me into googling that.

 

C'mon this was great. Luke is *still* drinking weird milk 30 years after he left Tatooine. Now it's just more artisinal and farm-to-table.

I read the fish maids as being annoyed he was there, which I think is hilarious.

Yoda would prefer Luke come to that conclusion himself and destroy the old books, but he's always been kind of a dense apprentice so he has to do it himself. And if Palpatine can shoot lightning, why can't Yoda make lightning shoot from the sky? I don't know, this power may have been kind of dumb after all.

 

And how the thing moans with pleasure, then looks at Rey, invitingly