Rogue One is Awesome! Now let's shit all over it!!! (F'n right spoilers)

This is really what it's about. The stories are just backdrop - nonsense. I mean c'mon, the story for IV was cobbled up undeveloped gibberish like this: “A young Jedi named Darth Vader, who was a pupil of mine until he turned to evil, helped the Empire hunt down and destroy the Jedi Knights. He betrayed and murdered your father.”

It's that sense of wonderment. The grand scale. The "wow" or "that's cool" factor. Vader stopping Hans blaster shots. Death Star exploding. Fat Y-wing guy making desperate heroic run. Executor crashing down into DS2. Or "Oh, I think know who Darth Sidious is!" (my son had NO idea beforehand unlike us).

Some things worked in the prequels, some things didn't. But at least Lucas tried. The idea of a master and pupil fighting it out in a molten lava world with light swords is pretty awesome if you think about it. (Reading the script and imagining what is happening in your head is a much better experience than watching the movie). But like so many other things with the prequels, it was too grand of a vision to pull off. And Ray Park was the wrong person to choreograph the fight scenes.

 

It's hard to please everyone at every single age. ESB was unique in that sense, and even then, if I remember right, when I was a kid I felt it was kind of scary actually, and liked SW and ROTJ better then. Grew up a bit, and ESB kicked ass.

 

He went through a WTF moment there, and asked a few questions.

I could see he was digesting the idea. Sort of reminded me of what I did when I saw it for the first time as well. He didn't know before hand, but it was not as much of a big deal on the long run. That was a few years ago.

My son is older though. My daughter kind of already knows. She is way more sensitive to violence at this age, and likes SW way better. Don't think she has seen the entire ESB. She takes it someplace else to play when things get out of hand in movies. My son proly already told her all about it though.

 

Yeah, the Chinese Aliens, Trade Federation, and Droids were kind of forgetful. Christopher Lee deserved way more screen-time and his character should have been developed more. Count Dookie's backstory and motivations were only hinted at. Would have been more interesting to know why he left the Jedi order and his relationship with Liam Neeson.

As for the "No, I am your father" scene. Popular culture (e.g. Family Guy) already destroyed this moment with my kids. They already knew. At least my son didn't know Palps was the Emperor, although he sensed stuff was "off" with Palps.

I never bought the "No, I am your father" thing. Separate Darth Vader and Anakin Skywalker characters would have been more classic, along the lines / type of plots with the Shaw Brothers Kung Fu movies. I am not a big fan of "twists".

 

The "No, I am your father" deal was also somewhat WTF for me growing up. It had it's pros and cons I guess. But separate characters would have been nice.

That said, Vader in ESB was a pretty formidable bad ass SOB that would no doubt mashed Luke to pieces. Luke was saved only cuz Vader had feelings for him. For Vader to have feelings for anyone at such point, it proly had to be nothing sort of a father-son relationship. And even then.

Separate characters would proly require a slightly different story, with Luke not-in-Bespin. Else, he would not have made it to ROTJ. Leia would have to fill that gap. And Leia being Luke's sister was another big twist there.

 

Don't forget C3PO was built by Vader. And Lars was Vader's stepbrother. And Chewy was already Yoda's buddy. And wanna be Darth Emo was Han's kid. And Leia memba'd her mom's face. And midichlorians mutated into mitochondria and landed on the earth. Making us all related.

 

She is 6. My son had issues going through Harry Potter until he was about 7 or 8. Even so, my daughter definitively is more sensitive to monsters and stuff. She is actually big on Wild Kratts and stuff like that. SW may not be her thing.

 

The tantan guts was gross in an Indiana Jones kind of way. I didn't need to see that when I was a kid, even as an older kid. Also those heart plug things on the Harkonnen were too. Oh wait, different movie.

 

Oh crap, I just realized the prequels could be interpreted as Jesus Christ kills Avalokiteśvara / Padmapāni / Amitabha. Damn Hollywood.