Star Wars: The Force Awakens [SPOILERS ABOUND]

I was hoping the new film would be really bad just so we'd get another Plinkett review. As it is we probably won't see one until he gets around to reviewing Twilight.

 

I watched the Phantom Menace Anti-Cheese Edit the other day and it could have been a great movie. Jar Jar isn't that bad at all in this version.

 

As much as I find JarJar annoying, I actually think he was handled worse in that edit than in the original movie. In the edit, he's kinda just there with them, and there isn't much reason for him being there.

Some of the scene omissions makes the movie go entirely too fast of a pace as well, and the pod-race is eerily quiet with a lack of dialogue.

The duel with Darth Maul is still epic as ever.

 

As bad as much of the Phantom Menace is, Darth Maul does completely rock and John Williams' "Duel of the Fates" that accompanies his light saber battle is equally epic.

 

He also broke new ground by being the first homosexual in star wars.

 

I think C3PO had that in the bag since the get go.......

 

Yeah, it definitely needs some new scenes to replace those that were cut to slow the pacing down.

 

I liek space ships and lazer swords.



**spoiler**





So, word on nerd street is that kylo is just a padawan.

Also, Finn is basically a star wars fan inserted in the movie with his OMG! Acting style plus losing every fight he gets into.

 

Safe for kids? One of my favorite movies when I was eight was Conan the Barbarian with Arnold. That opens with James Earl Jones feeding Arnold's dad to armored Rottweilers. I was scared more of one of the Chucky movies I saw on TV than action movies.

 

The only way to save this movie for me will be for Rey to be the incestuous result of a drunk night out between Luke and Leia. ""

Just go full game of thrones and destroy the dreams of every kid.

 

Have Kylo go full Mordred, be Luke and Leia's incestuous kid that Palpatine's Force ghost created with magic, beat and rape Luke's wife with whom he lives on that island while Luke is away killing all of Kylo's friends, and then have Luke and Kylo kill each other. I can't believe John Boorman left the Mordred raping his stepmother part out of Excalibur too.

 

Saw it twice - liked it, didn't love it.

The best comment I heard about the film from the pre-movie interviews was "This is basically a Star Wars film about people that would have been extras in previous Star Wars films." I can't remember who said it but I think it was Oscar Isaac talking about playing Poe. That's not entirely correct in that the film is still all about the Skywalker family but it does point to something. Like Kunlun said, basically Finn (and Poe, and both Kylo & Rey until their scene together) are all just Star Wars fan proxies getting to live out a fanfic on the big screen. Han Solo isn't really talking to the characters when he said that "It's true. All of it. The Dark Side. The Jedi. They're real." While I was watching Poe/Finn and Rey/Finn's gunner & pilot scenes, I thought of me and my childhood best friend playing Star Wars Tie Fighter on 32x - he was the gunner and I was the pilot. I'm certain that I wasn't the only one feeling that vibe.

I think building Episode 7 that way was a sound decision on Abrams & Company's part. However, that level of fan service, meta-textual reference, and legacy world-building weight means inevitable problems re: film narrative expectations i.e. the work of engaging Coleridge's "temporary suspension of disbelief" and doing immersive storytelling. IMO, that's why this installment feels a bit like a calorie-empty experience despite having characters that are no less fleshed out than the original installment (arguably moreso in some ways, given that it apes and borrows so much from the original trilogy including half of its characters). I think that the prequel trilogy was complete shit and it deserves every scrap of vitriol that its received but I will say this: Lucas wasn't doing fanfic, he was trying to produce backstory. I think that's why some people still think of the prequels somewhat fondly or still defend them. They might have "tasted" like shit (awful scripting, acting, storytelling, etc. etc.), but at least it didn't leave an aspartame aftertaste.

This had that aftertaste but it wasn't impossible to for me to swallow. I didn't regret consuming this film. He really only gets one of these though. Episode 8 has to bring more substantial storytelling, character development, and most importantly a payoff that makes all that borrowing and fan service seem like it was worth it.

 

Episode VIII is when? 2018?

We get Rogue One and a Yoda/Boba Fett as wacky in-laws movie first.

 

They've already started shooting the next one, and I think I read somewhere 2017.

::::::::SPOILER ALERT::::::::::::::

On another note, this Yahoo bait and switch article for commercials over the movie might be giving things away. The left out trailer (last clip) with Mark Hammil's voice over gives a hint to who Rey might be... plus in this trailer when Luke's lightsaber is handed off it's not Finn taking but a female hand.
https://www.yahoo.com/movies/star-wars-bait-and-switch-what-was-in-force-171019205.html

 

Absolute garbage movie. WTF are you guys talking about? Seriously? You like JJ Abrams waving his dick around with explosions going off every 5 seconds? wtf people. wtf.

I could write a pamphlet on why this movie sucks so hard but right now I'm just pissed off and confused and angry

 

Yeah...I totally see what you mean....No Star Wars movies before now had explosions and stuff....

Oh wait, they all did.

Regardless, Chewie going berserk after the walkway stroll to death was AWESOME!

 

Oh deer. I hope you didn't have your hopes dashed too hard; given how much Disney paid for this franchise, there was no way anything creative or original was going to come out of it.

 

ha yea right. The pacing of this movie is worthy of ridicule. JJ Abrams is like the dynamic compression of the movie world. Turn everything up to 11 and keep it there. No depth, no time to flesh things out, no time for useful exposition (hey Han get our son back herp derp). Don't try to tell me any of the previous 6 had that problem. Sorry dude, obvious JJ signature is obvious.

I'm actually very hopeful for the next one. Might be some of that second sequel pattern a la Empire Strikes Back. And no JJ involved as I understand.

 

Nope. Rogue One (2016) -> Episode VIII (2017) -> Young Han Solo (2018) -> Episode IX (2019) -> Boba Fett(?)

I'm looking to see how the formula changes for Rogue One.