My dad taught me music. I wasn't allowed to touch his collection when he was at work so what did I do? Yeah. When my brother died I got to pick through his collection. Grandma always said her collection was mine when that time came. We shared that through our lives. When they put her in the last place she'll be, I took what I wanted from what she wanted to give me.
I get in touch with my dead family members through music. My brother was really hard, because he was always the good one and I was the bad one. He killed himself and I never would. But anytime I want to connect I look through their records and look for a sign. I always get one.
The older we get, the more people we lose, and the more used to it we get. It's still hard.
Wow, sorry to hear, my condolences. I do something similar with death, I find songs that helps me grieve and listen to the shit out of them. Normally one song does it but for my sister it was a variety of music. To this day certain songs remind me of grieving for a family member.
Sorry to bring a bummer to the table. It happens to all of us. I think we just tend to keep it to ourselves. But everyone goes through this and if music can help, or if we just filter our life experiences through the filter of what we all have in common, maybe we can help explain it to ourselves, or at least understand it more.
It’s not a bummer to me, just what you’re dealing with and a part of life. I’m glad you shared. Makes this forum feel more personal. And agreed with the above two about sharing and expressing.
I'm sorry, my condolences. Just wanna chime in that it's no bummer at all. Please feel free to share and express your thoughts if it helps you process what you have been through, and SBAF I feel is actually a good place for that. If anything, this post reminds me to visit my brother more often, who is suffering from MDD, so thank you!
We all grieve in our own way, on our own schedules. Music also helps me with this process. Thank you for sharing and please be kind to yourself during this difficult time.
Turns out she passed quietly in her sleep around 1am last night. I spent the evening with headphones on trying to work through it, and didn't find out until this morning.
Thanks everyone for the kind words. Death of family is a weird experience and a landmark of sorts in one's life. As we get older, we lose those higher-ups from our youth and we become the higher ups.
I hope that everything goes as well as possible for you. When my Dad died, I said to myself, "From now on, I'm listening for both of us." But instead, every day for months, I'd listen to Bach's Passacaglia and Fugue in C minor (BWV 582) and sob. Now, I find that I *do* really listen for both of us. When I hear a great recording, I have a pretty fair sense of what my Dad's take on it would be.
I truly sympathize, went through something similar with my maternal grandmother who lived with us. Music + booze tends to stoke my emotions with memories of her, as well as others who left too soon. My condolences to you, and easier to say it rather than to hear it but thankful she completed her life's journey in relative peace.
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