Age doesn't mean shit, and loads of younger girls are into old coots nowadays ;)
Bad humour aside, take as much time as you need to relax and recover. Stuff like this is never easy. Things change, not always for the better, but you can take it as a chance to be better.
About a year ago my girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me. In retrospect it was a toxic and codependent relationship. Now I'm healthier both physically and mentally and have three loving partners. Life takes some wild turns - great things may be in store for you too.
Be strong, focus on that which brings you joy through these difficuilt times. These all encompassing feelings will fade, & you will be surprised by the experiences that lay ahead of you. You’ll look upon this time with a completely different view to what you now hold, & what you have learned will become the building blocks of your next relationship. Every young relationship becomes a lesson in what not to do.
Thx guys. I thought I've been through worse but this is pretty bad. She's unstable, I've been her father, boyfriend, mother, friend, you name it. Been her support and helped her finish her studies. Studied with her, supported in any way, and so. Now she told me she started drinking and lighter drugs, and wants to try all these things she couldn't cause she was afraid what I'd think of her.
I don't want to be a condescending douschebag but she's going down a dark path, I'm genuinely afraid. Not much I can do (or tbh want to do) about it at this point.
If things have been this difficuilt up to now and she is determined to go down this path then getting out before it gets a whole lot worse is the best thing you could ever do.
One of the greatest human weaknesses is caring, because caring in such a situation can destroy you.
Stay close to your good friends and family. Keep your routine, try to stay thinking in the future. The best moves in my life were after great deceptions
My heart goes out to you bud. Don’t beat yourself up to recover in a hurry. Things like this take time to get out of your system. Quick recovery with sudden bursts of euphoria and confidence typically backfires. Slow and steady recovery will give you inner peace. Talking to friends and family helps a lot.
Now is a good time to try doing new stuff. When I was in your shoes, I found going to concerts and movies really helps. Take your time and take it easy, I promise things will only get better with time!
It does. Not sure that's a viable long term solution. I'm weak and desperate at this moment, probably not a good time to approach women until I've cooled down. I'd probably do something stupid.
Have sort of been there. Not a toxic relation though. Even a civil break-up hurts. I worked and suppressed my feelings back then. Now: I should have partied for at least a month. Enjoy life...
I had three multi-year relationships before meeting my wife when I was 29. There’s a reason you didn’t get married already. I didn’t want to marry any of my previous girlfriends, even after two or three years, but wanted to marry my now-wife within five dates. Stay positive and remember that things will get better.
As an aside... @E_Schaaf ... THREE?! At once!? (Drags over fainting couch.)
@Josh83 As someone who never intends to marry or reproduce, polyamory definitely works best with my lifestyle. Takes a lot of pressure off of each of my relationships too - no one partner needs to fulfill all of my relationship and emotional support needs, and I don't for them either. Didn't know it'd work for me until I tried it.
@Ardacer, I've never had a rebound girl, but I have drowned myself in ass for a couple years before I happened upon the right one. It may be uncouth, but it's true. If you do go on a booty hunt, don't catch anything!
Re: schaafting multiple people, I get that it's not typical but I'm personally supportive of it so long as all parties consent. Different strokes for different folks and all that, plus I also personally think there's beauty in being emotionally open with more than one person.
Or millennials are just weird, that explanation works.
(Definitely be careful not to catch anything you don't already have though.)
I'm an old fashioned type of guy regarding such topics. Completely respect and understand everyone's needs, styles and choices. But for myself, it's like those birds that mate for life. It's what I've seen at home, and it was beautiful. If I can be half the man and father my dad was once, I'll consider it a huge success.
Priest? I've so far spoken just with my best friend and you guys. Didn't want to nag my mother with this, it's my burden, not hers. Why do you think a priest would be a good idea? Curious, not judging.
I was at a session where the Dali Lama took questions. Somebody asked hiim something about married life. He said, "Why ask me about married life: I'm a monk!"
Let yourself really feel what you're feeling now. If you ignore it, it could become much worse later. But if doing that becomes too difficult, do *not* hesitate about seeing a psychiatrist to take the edge off. God be with you.
can't ignore heartbreak. And I guess there is no cure for it, except time. @Ardacer, you are a doc, and I'm sure that medical science agrees with this.
Mind you, as a herbal-medicine dabbler, I have found a mixture that may take the edge off things:
... Scullcap, Valerian, and Kava Kava. The first two are common in European herbal medicine. The third may or may not be available/legal-to-buy-or-sell-or-import in your country, and comes with a health warning. cf Kavalactones. Legal disclaimer: I have no qualification to prescribe, and am only retelling a personal experience :)
Just wanted to say thanks. You all took your time to respond to this stupid status and show support. It did help, I guess I knew it would. Feeling bit better, met with a friend I last saw 12 years ago. Went for a coffee. He was an idiot back then, became very wise now. Life's interesting.
You lucked out, I have a friend that was pretty cool in high school that turned out to be a massive dumbass later on. Still not that old, granted, so I'm giving him benefit of the doubt ;)
Update. No news from her since. Hope she's doing fine. I went on for a weekend with my best female friend that I've known for a very long time. Turns out we have a thing for each other. She's absolutely wonderful. Hope my ex finds someone like that too one day.
I've done some edits not to clog the feed and make things a bit more concise. Very thankful for your support guys, seriously.
We got caught in a thunderstorm that came out of nowhere. Got soaked, lightning struck 50m from us, we were in the forest :/
Lost my flipflops in the stream, had to go barefoot through all that several km
Super interesting weekend
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