The Funny/LOL Thread

Discussion in 'Random Thoughts' started by ultrabike, Oct 15, 2015.

  1. Jinxy245

    Jinxy245 Vegan Puss

    Friend
    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2016
    Likes Received:
    4,668
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Montgomery, New York
    What was the elephant doing up in a tree?
    Wondering how to get down.

    Why was the elephant staring out the window?
    He couldn't see through the wall.

    Why was the elephant on roller skates?
    His car was in the shop.

    Unrelated:

    [​IMG]
     
    • Like Like x 4
    • Epic Epic x 1
    • List
  2. yotacowboy

    yotacowboy McRibs Kind of Guy

    Friend
    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2016
    Likes Received:
    7,139
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    NOVA
    Home Page:
    [told with a southern drawl]

    What do you call a deer with no eyes?

    no-i-deee-er.

    What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

    still-no-i-deee-er.

    What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no sexual reproductive organs?

    still-no-fuckin-i-deee-er.
     
  3. AllanMarcus

    AllanMarcus Friend

    Friend
    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2015
    Likes Received:
    2,631
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Los Alamos, NM
    Home Page:
    where does a one legged waitress work?

    IHOP
     
  4. OldDude04

    OldDude04 Friend

    Friend
    Joined:
    May 17, 2018
    Likes Received:
    1,328
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Location:
    United States
    That reminded me of another one I'd heard.


    Where does the Easter Bunny work in the off season?

    IHOP
     
  5. TheloniuSnoop

    TheloniuSnoop Friend

    Friend Contributor
    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2015
    Likes Received:
    411
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    Gold Canyon, AZ
    Two dumb guys (wait, should be 'educationally mentally handicapped gentlemen') walking down the road. One says "Look at the dead bird"! The other says (looking skyward) "Where?".

    Thanks to Henny Youngman.
     
  6. Biodegraded

    Biodegraded Friend

    Friend
    Joined:
    May 28, 2017
    Likes Received:
    6,051
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Vancouver BC
    What do you call a group of educationally disadvantaged persons in a field?
    A thicket!
     
  7. Rob the Comic

    Rob the Comic banned from ASR

    Friend
    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2020
    Likes Received:
    3,753
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Sydney, Australia
    What does a librarian call a bunch of hookers?
    An anthology of pros.
     
  8. Rob the Comic

    Rob the Comic banned from ASR

    Friend
    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2020
    Likes Received:
    3,753
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Sydney, Australia
    The guy that gets shot out of the cannon at the circus quits after many years. The distressed ringmaster says ‘mate, where will I find another man of your calibre’.
     
    • Like Like x 4
    • Epic Epic x 1
    • List
  9. Rob the Comic

    Rob the Comic banned from ASR

    Friend
    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2020
    Likes Received:
    3,753
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Sydney, Australia
    C70B1FCC-5EE8-4A3F-B782-3882DB56359B.jpeg
     
    • Like Like x 6
    • Epic Epic x 1
    • List
  10. Rob the Comic

    Rob the Comic banned from ASR

    Friend
    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2020
    Likes Received:
    3,753
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Sydney, Australia
    BFC5C11C-8778-4CC5-A439-D48336AC1BBA.jpeg

    Grumpy local tree.
     
  11. Thad E Ginathom

    Thad E Ginathom Friend

    Friend
    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2015
    Likes Received:
    11,288
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    India
    handicapped is not a politically approved word. Try intellectually differently-abled.

    Or just say... stupid! :D
     
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2022
  12. TheloniuSnoop

    TheloniuSnoop Friend

    Friend Contributor
    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2015
    Likes Received:
    411
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    Gold Canyon, AZ
    I stand corrected. Stupid it is. :rolleyes:
     
  13. Deep Funk

    Deep Funk Deep thoughts - Friend

    Friend
    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2015
    Likes Received:
    8,185
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Amsterdam
    Home Page:
    Needs a soundtrack.

     
  14. zottel

    zottel Almost "Made"

    Contributor
    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2022
    Likes Received:
    270
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Location:
    Franconia, Germany
    How do you put an elephant into a VW Beetle?
    Open door, put elephant in, close door.
    How do you put a giraffe into a VW Beetle?
    Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.

    Why do elephants have red eyes?
    So they can better hide in cherry trees.
    Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? No?
    That’s how good they are at hiding.

    And the best one:
    How can you tell that there’s an elephant in your bed?
    By the large E on its pyjamas.
     
    • Like Like x 3
    • Epic Epic x 1
    • List
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2022
  15. mitochondrium

    mitochondrium Friend

    Friend
    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2017
    Likes Received:
    828
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Location:
    A Cell
    Long time ago while living in France a colleague of mine asked me:
    „What is the difference between a terrorist and our boss?“
    Shrug
    „You can negotiate with a terrorist“
     
  16. Jinxy245

    Jinxy245 Vegan Puss

    Friend
    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2016
    Likes Received:
    4,668
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Montgomery, New York
    I think it's been shared before...

    [​IMG]
     
    • Like Like x 4
    • Epic Epic x 1
    • List
  17. TheloniuSnoop

    TheloniuSnoop Friend

    Friend Contributor
    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2015
    Likes Received:
    411
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    Gold Canyon, AZ
    Why should you never go into the jungle between 2 & 4PM?
    Elephants are jumping out of trees.

    Why are pygmy's short?
    (Do I really have to say it?)
     
  18. TheloniuSnoop

    TheloniuSnoop Friend

    Friend Contributor
    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2015
    Likes Received:
    411
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    Gold Canyon, AZ
    What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal?
    ...
    ...
    ...
    A polar bear.
     
  19. Rob the Comic

    Rob the Comic banned from ASR

    Friend
    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2020
    Likes Received:
    3,753
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Sydney, Australia
    A Priest, a Minister and a Rabbit walk into a bar. The Rabbit says ‘hang on, I think I’m a typo’.
     
    • Like Like x 3
    • Epic Epic x 1
    • List
  20. Rob the Comic

    Rob the Comic banned from ASR

    Friend
    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2020
    Likes Received:
    3,753
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Sydney, Australia
    D1502793-09B3-473A-88FE-0CF3BB4535B4.jpeg

    Perfect translation.
     

Share This Page